The Edges of My Arc

About 12 years ago on this day, I finished my schooling. I still remember those moments when countless dreams and hopes played a Chinese checker in my mind. If you would have asked me what I wanted to do in this life, I would have replied, "I am gonna play loads of basketball". Hilarious, I know. Well this is all that is left of that dream. If you would have asked me what was the second thing I would like to do with my life, I would have replied, "I want to be an engineer". If you would have probed me further, I might have replied, "I would like to do be a businessman". 

Years have gone by and I still wonder how we end up creating a web of expectations in our life. How we forget that the sheer joy in life can only be attained by being happy. And like those countless hope-filled eyes who set out to carve a small space in this big world, I tried my best to draw my arc. However, I somewhere faltered on the curve. I did everything that I never thought of. I did everything that I didn't wish to do. Soon the old dreams died and the new ones emerged from the crazy corners of my brain. But there was a difference. I was no more a simple school going guy who thought life is as simple as counting alphabets from A to Z. I was a part of a shrewd  materialistic and subconsciously demeaned world where I only had a paranoid dream to get out of this everyday ruckus of survival. 

But I couldn't.

And after so many years, I really look back at life and wish I could have always been that simple school going kid who probably thought getting admitted to the college dispensary to avoid a class was the biggest manipulation in his life. Now, I push myself to attain the most irrelevant things and pleasures in life which really don't give me any joy, even after I achieve them. And even though I know that my circle of life is not round, I rarely get to see any corner or edges. All I see is the same old curve of the arc where I faltered and I know I cannot redraw it. I have to stop writing now as tomorrow the sun will rise and even though we all know that the tide might bring something new, but we forget that to enjoy the tide, we have to be on the beach and not in the cubicle of our air conditioned office. Period.