A film on Garnier Shampoo

Any girl with plaits shouldn't go to watch Ek thi Daayan, at the end of the movie you will get strange looks from everyone. Why? Read below !

Legendary filmmaker Stanley Kubrick once remarked: “A story of the supernatural cannot be taken apart and analysed too closely. The ultimate test of its rationale is whether it is good enough to raise the hairs on the back on your neck.” Until the interval, debutant director Kannan Iyer had me pinned to my seat. Of course, first I had to get over the fact that the hero in this film, played by Emraan Hashmi, is called Bobo, really? who is called bloody Bobo the Magician.

Ek Thi Daayan is another Hindi film-maker’s showcase of how popular culture and prejudices have long coloured the daayan—to be reviled and feared. In Vishal Bhardwaj’s writing and Kannan Iyer’s direction, witches and witchcraft are amazingly kept away of mystery, fun or complexity. A disclaimer at the beginning of the film says it does not intend to stereotype women as daayans which made everyone sitting in the theatre laugh, even women :D

Ek Thi Daayan is a smartly crafted and a highly original film, writes Raja Sen. This guy needs to be shot point blank for his obnoxious reviews.

Casting is perfect as sexy dark Konkana is African Dayan, Huma Kureshi is Mumbai ki khaate peete ghar ki Dayan and Kalki is Canadian Dayan. Half the dialogues in the film are laughable, especially when you hear Bobo screaming 'Choti Kaat Doonga! (I will cut your plaits!)

If daayans and their deeds are so entertaining, I said to myself at the interval, bring them on. The disappointment begins with one of the worst and most unnecessary scenes in Bollywood film history, a marriage song-and-dance sequence where everyone looks at the f**king camera as they shake a leg: 'WTF Kannan! WTF Ekta! SELLOUT ALERT!'. Once that unfortunate scene passes, our film's third female protagonist, the talented Kalki Koechlin enters as Lisa Dutt, a musician who's a big fan of "Bobo"; our magician suspects that she's a Daayan after remembering his grandfather's prophecy. The writing becomes obvious, the surprises disappear, and the big reveal is such a mash-up of so many previous spook-fests that Ek Thi Daayan becomes more 'Kab Hogi Khatam'.

For a film that had such ingenuity in marketing and great looking posters, this was a complete let down...You're only left with decent performances that may hold you from walking out of the film. Konkona is the only worth mentioning in this review; her unconventional sexiness is even more alluring when her pupils dilate (Falling in love with a Daayan, mister me? :D ) and she really makes us sit back and enjoy her character/creature even when she's given horrible 'saat samundar paar'-like lines to speak in the second-half. The rest are alright but Emraan is just too self-aware that he's in a horror film and has to always look spooked, the rest of the film is pathetic, with huge gaping pot-holes in the plot, even the re-appearance of Konkana in the finale is a big joke, she was killed in the first half. Maybe the Ramsay brothers should make a comeback, at least they started out right...remember 'Do Gaz Zameen Ke Neeche'? Watch Ek Thi Daayan if you like Ramsay Brothers films—this is a slicker, more clever version of that genre.

So all you get a baseless lame story with no chills or thrills! (I saw a 7-8 year old boy nearby, who was continuously laughing in those terrifying moments !). The proceedings are so predictable that even the worst guess will point towards the culprit!. In a nutshell (and I'm generously borrowing from a dialogue in the film but with certain modifications): Ek Thi Daayan scripts snores, its horror farts out and its miles away (actually light-years away) from being the tiger of Indian horror films.

Ek Thi Daayan is more tiresome than frightening and also a 2.5 hr of Garnier shampoo ad! Teri choti kaat dunga... lol :D !